1st December and just as predicted Mrs Shack is straight on my case… “it’s time to get the Christmas decorations down and for God’s sake change the light box to something Christmassy”

Now if I’ve completely lost you then quite frankly you deserve to be lost.  It is a quote from possibly the most Christmassy film ever made… Die Hard.  Full of complete and utter carnage Die Hard has all the elements of a Christmas classic, including Bruce Willis.  There’s only one other person who I know who loves Die Hard as much as I do and that’s Jake Peralta from Brooklyn 99.  If you’re lost again then we can’t be friends.  Get yourself on Netflix and return when you have binged watched all four seasons.

Die Hard is an essential part of my self made Christmas tradition, as is the annual boys night at our local Chinese, always held a few days before Santa arrives.  If you thought that Die Hard was carnage then you want to see the sate of our table after 14 ex rugby players descend upon an all you can eat buffet.

This isnt a crime scene. This is in fact the aftermath of said lads Christmas Chinese tradition

Bizarre isn’t it.  Christmas food and drink traditions.  Each year we do the same thing over and over again because it’s something we’ve always done.  From eating so much food to the point of which we literally feel we’re going to bust a gut to drinking our bodyweight in Jaegerbombs at the office Christmas party and spending the next week avoiding Jenny from accounts after you was sick on her dress.

I know that I certainly took it for granted that all Christmas foody traditions were alike. I mean it’s Christmas, everyone eats turkey right?

Wrong. We’ve already covered in blog post Totally Thanksgiving that come December our US cousins are so sick of the site of Turkey that the thought of one more mouthful send them to despair. Most households opt for ham or beef.

Then there’s the brussels… to be or not to be on the Christmas dinner? The first time I ever even tried a Brussel sprout was the first Christmas at my in laws back when Mrs Shack and I were first courting. We’d only been together for about a month at the time and it was awkward enough sitting round the Christmas table with a bunch of weirdos I had only met a handful of times. So when the large green bullets were dished up on my plate I held my breath and thought of England… only to find… I was a convert.

These days Mrs Shack and I probably go through about a kilo of sprouts a week, we bloody love em, as well as the perfect excuse I have for the rest of the evening to fart like a trombone in brass band.

A BRUSSEL SPROUT SHACK FAVOURITE RECIPE- FRY SHREDDED BRUSSELS WITH THINLY SLICED ONIONS, BUTTER, FENNEL SEEDS AND A TABLESPPON OF APPLE CIDER VINEGAR

But I think the Christmas tradition which completely and utterly blew my mind the most was talking to my pals over Skype whilst they were travelling in Japan over the holiday season. When I asked what they would be doing for their seasonal dinner they explained they would be joining millions of other Japanese in ordering, wait for it… KFC!!!

It is hactually a fact that the Colonel gets proper minted at Christmas time as the chain is so popular that patrons actually place their orders in advance to make sure that they can get their festive bargain buckets. Brilliant.

KENTUCKY FRIED CHRISTMAS

My final thoughts for today’s blog piece, forget KFC, the all you can eat Chinese and John McClane crawling through an air duct, this year I’ve been all about creating new traditions… including pimping up mince pies and using creating a Christmas Cranberry pork rib sensation. Not one you’ll want to miss.

Let us know of your own quirky foodie traditions, we’re all about sharing the love.

CHRIMBO RIBS – PORK SPARE RIBS WITH A CRANBERRY MUSTARD GLAZE

THE MINCE PIE CHRONICLES: BACON, PEANUT PUTTER AND ROCKY ROAD FLAVOURS

YIPPEE KI YAY MOTHER F******RS!!!

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